2018 – marks the end of a decade for me.

2019 ushers in a new decade for me; one that screams middle-aged. But that’s fine, I’ve learned to deal with it as gracefully as I possibly can. So, let’s talk about 2018, while it’s still around.

It has been quite a fitting year to spend the last vestiges of my disappearing thirties. I doubled on my efforts to tick off my life’s bucket list. Instead of one long haul holiday this year, I took two. I also changed jobs within Bloomsbury publishing, settling down with permanence in editorial. I also learned how to knit a scarf (I made two).

It was a year of disappointment too. I stopped reading like I used to. Instead I wasted time on Netflix. I stopped blogging avidly, instead tweeting posts of no value. Every time I reminded myself to read or write, I reacted like a stubborn child.

It was also a year of losing my last grandparent. It was a year of seeing my relatives becoming orphans. While it gave me a chance to reconnect with my relatives after 17 odd years, I learned that you can’t force relationships and it has to happen naturally. Though I feel I have changed for better, I still haven’t let go of the need to put other peoples’ happiness before me. I carry a sizeable amount of guilt when I think of being selfish. But that’s something I think I can deal with in my wise forties.

I took a chance today to look back at my thirties and see myself through my blogs and pictures taken over the years. Aside from seeing the obvious visible ageing process, I saw myself taking opportunities, from volunteering with the TEDx communities to taking solo adventures. I also went blonde and learned that blondes do have the most fun.This was a decade of chasing dreams and for them to finally coming true. It took me years to finally end up in book publishing. After years of dreaming about it, I visited Tokyo. It was also the decade where I finally passed my driving test (having failed twice in my twenties).

I have created a slideshow here, not only to show the visible ageing process but to remind myself of what I did in my thirties. If my thirties had been a wonderful adventure, then I am excited to see what the forties bring.

My 30th year. My fashion sense slowly sobering up.



About Me

Hi there!  Welcome to my site. My name is Kakul Ehsan Butt, or you can simply call me by my nickname, Dani. I have been this writer gal since 2011 (well, I have always been this writer gal since childhood, but never mind). I am passionate […]

Read more